His Timing is Perfect!!!!

Today's post is for all you moms and soon to be moms out there.    It seems to me that there is nothing else that is more humbling, character refining/sanctifying, exhausting, draining, frustrating, mentally challenging, physically challenging, tear filled, and heart wrenching as parenting.  Yes, there are times when there is great reward in being a mom!!!  Like when you gaze into the fixed gaze of your infants eyes, or watch your baby peacefully sleep.  Or when your preschooler sings songs about how much they love you!  Or they wrap their little or big arms around you and say thanks mom!  When they do what you told them to do, and when they make you feel proud.  But those moments are not the whole story are they...in the day to day thick of it I have often found myself exasperated as a parent.

Over the years I have read many parenting books and each time I had come a way with a new sense of how far I myself and my children fell short.  I then would come under a great sense of condemnation and shame.  Trying to regroup I'd gather up my skirts so to speak and determine to do better as a parent.  The funny thing is that what that determination produced in me was not being a better parent and having better kiddo's but a more angrier, frustrated parent who was desperately trying to get her kiddo's to perform as they ought.  When they would not conform to my ideals of how a child ought to behave or perform I would become angrier.  Then my children too would become angrier and we became stuck in a vicious cycle that we all desperately wanted out.  The problem was I had no idea how to get out of it.  

Then one day in the midst of this vicious cycle the Lord spoke to my heart:  "The problem here is you!  You have unrealistic expectations of both you and your children.  If you would just stop, pray and ask me what is needed I will show you."  So began a slow journey of change in my heart and in my parenting.  My home became less contentious and I was more at peace!  I was beginning to appropriate grace into my parenting and point my kiddo's to their need of a Savior when they disobeyed.  I look back with sadness as I admit to you that with each kiddo I grew a little more in my understanding of what that looked like.  So that my first born there was little to none taught and modeled to him, to my second born a little bit more, my third a tiny more, my step daughters (when we became family) a tiny bit more, and to the last a bit more.  This makes me sad because of course I wish I would have known what I know now with my first born!!!  I can't however go back and change things, I can only seek forgiveness and move forward.

One of the first books that influenced me as I sought to appropriate grace in my parenting more was Shepherding a Child's Heart.  I highly recommend this book to you mom's who are out there in the thick of it.

I have a long way to go yet and though I have been parenting for 25 years I still have much to learn.  Recently, the Lord has convicted me that I have wrongly conveyed and taught my children a legalistic view of life.  Oh, I don't mean intentionally I did this.  Heavens no!  This was completely unintentional and the realization took me by surprise!!!  My first inclinations came to me when I realized I never told my children the "why" we "do" or "don't do" certain things I just demanded they conform.   Then the realization of my error really began to dawn on me this Christmas.  My husband Jeff and I and four of our children were visiting with family at my husbands parents house.  Our youngest son who is 5 was playing with his cousin who had taken a toy or something like that (memory is a bit fuzzy here).  My husband was trying to get my son to forgive his cousin.  This 5 year old boy of mine was protesting with great frustration that he could not!  He just was not feeling it!!!  My husband persisted and so did my son!  As I watched my husband and little boy for the first time instead of feeling angry or incensed that he would not apologize I began to understand.  It began to dawn on me that he could not because his heart was hard!  He was a sinner who needed His Savior to transform his heart so that he could forgive.  His dad did what I would have done before this new revelation had begun to take root in my mind and heart, he sent him into isolation until he could say he could forgive.  With this new revelation I went to my son and I gently said  "Zachary, you know what?  You are right!  You cannot forgive your cousin on your own, you need Jesus to help you!"  We then prayed together that Jesus would forgive Zachary for his lack of forgiveness and help him to be able to forgive.  Later on that night my son was able to forgive his cousin.

Wow!  I thought, how come I never knew this before!  How come I missed this!  I was taking Christianity and making it into a bunch of rules that my children needed to follow, but that is not what it is about at all is it?!  How can it be that we moms and dads know that we are sinners who need a savior to set us free from our sin and that He alone can empower us to overcome sin, but then we make or insist that our children obey our rules in their own strength?  We expect obedience and demand it from then!  What is the result do you think?  Well, most likely we will either end up with Pharisees (law keepers whose hearts are proud because they keep all the rules and so, are far from God) or Prodigals (law breakers...hearts overwhelmed and hardened by all the rules and so rebel).  Of course I do not discount the grace of God!!!  His grace can reach through all of our failures as parents to the heart of the child no matter how bad or good (it's never good enough) we parented!!!

So where does that leave me?  Prostrate on the floor before my Savior repentant for my sin!  Seeking forgiveness from my children for conveying the wrong message of the cross to them!!!  And starting fresh with this new revelation that God so graciously allowed me to learn now!  Every day is a new day and in His grace I begin a new!  I need grace just like my kiddo's...I need it so I can parent as I ought and I need it when I don't!  I can then trust that as often as I blow it as a mom is as often as I can go to the Cross again with my sin.  "And He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Cor. 12:9)

It also means that I as a mom can be proactive and find resources to help me put into action what I have now learned.   What is incredibly mind blowing crazy to me is how perfect God's timing is!!!  Just as I am learning how to parent in a grace filled way He had recently taught the very same thing but with greater depth to two beautiful Christian women Elyse Fitzpatrick and her daughter Jessica Thompson.  They then took what they learned and put it in a book titled Give Them Grace: Dazzling Your Kids with the Love of Jesus.   I have yet to read this book because it just came out, but it is on my wish list!  I highly recommend that whether or not you get the book that you listen to Elyse Fitzpatrick's interview on the Desiring God website here: DG LIVE with Elyse Fitzpatrick  I was startled when Elyse Fitzpatrick in this interview shared a very similar story as mine (shared above) about her daughter learning how to teach about "grace" and the need for it with one of her own children.  Watch and you will see what I mean. 

Oh, and one more thing that is an important reminder for all of us.  No matter how good we parent our children they may still end up prodigals!  And the opposite is true!  No matter how bad we mess up as parents our children may choose to follow Christ!  The Authors of this book clearly state their book is not a how to get your children saved but a how to dazzle them with the love of Jesus!  The rest is the job of the Holy Spirit!!!  Jesus is the Author and finisher of our faith and Lord willing our children's!!!  We mom's are not!!!

What about you? How have you parented?  What has or is God teaching you today?  I'd love to hear your story too!!!  If you get the book and read it then let me know what you think! 

A Laundry Room Transformed and...

One thing I'm learning is that the more organized I get the more I love being organized!  I know shocker, right!?! Especially after you saw the before pictures of my laundry room.  My husband and I joked that my poor laundry room looked like some of the homes we saw on the reality t.v. show Hoarding.  Yikes!  One could hardly walk in the room let alone do laundry.  It definitely needed to be transformed into a room that was much more functional and while we were at it why not cute too?  After all, I do spend a lot of time in there.  So I purged, sorted, scraped, patched, decided on a paint color and painted.   My husband helped with some of the painting and then along with the help of my father-in-law they put up shelves for me.

Here I am trimming out a wall in one of my husbands old shirts. 

 Are you liking the color I picked? To tell you the truth I was not sure about it at this point.  The contrast between the old and the new was shockingly purple...but when it was all finished I was quite pleased!!!  Picking a color for me is always hard but it was even more challenging this time because you see into the room when standing in the kitchen.  I wanted it to look cheery, but not clash with those other rooms.  Take a look at the photo below and you'll get a better idea of why I was concerned.

Well, what do you think...do you like it?  You are looking into my laundry room (purple) as if you are standing in the kitchen (red), and to the right is the family room wall (camel).  Do you now see why I had to really think about what color and what intensity of color would work best? 

This is as you walk in.  The outside door to the left (which you barely can see) was stained a dark 70's color and is now white.  We don't have a cabinet yet.  We will have to wait on that, but that's o.k. because I have my shelves up!  Check them out...

My husband decided to not use the closet as it originally was.  Instead he used the wall across from the washer and dryer that ran into the original closet (you can still see the header from the closet in this picture).  That way I would have more shelves and no wasted inaccessible spaces.  It also made it so I could use this room for a mud room too!  See the Backpack, pink bag, and my purse on the shelf ...and next picture. 

Underneath where I hang shirts to iron are two baskets and a shelf.  The shelf and floor provide space for some of the family's shoes.  This has not completely resolved the issue of the shoes by the back doorway but has helped.  In the baskets I'm thinking about storing the hats, scarves, mittens etc... that now are taking up needed space in the front hall closet.  Next to the shoes is a hamper (one that I already had) so that the dirty laundry people throw in the room can now be off the floor and out of sight. Phew!

This was the coolest idea!  We were puzzling about what to do with this space when I realized my laundry baskets would fit perfectly in there.  I asked my husband if he thought he could put some shelves in this space that were just tall enough for my laundry baskets.   My Handy husband and his dad who is also very handy went to the hardware store and bought some white laminate boards cut them and spaced them just right!  I love it!  There's no more wondering what to do with the laundry basket full of unfolded clothes until I can get to it.  It's the perfect solution!!!  FYI I do have enough laundry baskets for each shelf, but they have clothes in them that are waiting to be put away...such is the norm in a busy home!

I shared with you that my motivation for redoing the laundry room was because it desperately needed it.  We had another pressing reason...

Meet the newest member of our family: Charley!  He is a two year old Golden Retriever that we adopted from WAAGR Wisconsin Adopt A Golden Retriever.  He is such a Sweetheart!

Awwwe!!!  Isn't he cute!!! 

We needed a place for Charley's dog food and the laundry room seemed to be the logical place.

Don't you just want to pet him and tell him how cute he is!

Charley and two of our girls

Best Friends!!!  Charley and our youngest son

Charley arrived the day we celebrated my birthday.  Isn't my cake just beautiful!  I have the best husband in the world, thank-you honey!!!  All my guys (hubby and three boys) got me real flowers too,  I love you guys!!!

Me and almost all the kiddo's (unfortunately one daughter had to work).  FYI My handsome hubby is taking the picture! 

What a great birthday!  I love my family!  I loved my flowers!  I love my redone laundry room!  And we all love Charley!

Whew! What a whirl wind!  We finished the laundry room just in the nick of time for Charley and with very little money spent!  My motto is work with what you got...you can make anything cute!  Even if the floor is still 70's green, you have to paint the ugly woodwork,  and your appliances are temperamental.   I may not have a whole lot of new in my redone room, but nonetheless I do have a very cute, cheery, and functional laundry room that I love!  Therefore I no longer cringe when I see the door is left open. 

Do you think God cares about laundry rooms?  I don't know for sure...but I do know He wants us to be good stewards of those things He's blessed us with.  Such as our finances, our home, our bodies and even with our creative gifts too!!!  As long as His will and His purposes always remain as our number one priority!!!

Thank-you God for blessing me in so many ways!  Thank-you for your sustaining grace that provides what we need in the moment we need it!  Thank-you for my new laundry room and for Charley!  For my family and friends.  Thank-you for showing me ways that I can make my home more efficient, more beautiful, and more welcoming to everyone who enters it's doors so that they might know Your love in ways they could not otherwise.  Help my sisters to be keepers of their homes too!!!  But in their own way, celebrating the way You have uniquely made them, and with the provisions you have provided for them.  Keep us from comparing ourselves with each other.  Most importantly help us each to be content with what we have and to give generously to those who don't!


"For it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose." Philippians 2:13

Step 3: Yes, I Googled it!

In case you have missed the previous posts my husband and I are redoing our laundry room because, well honestly, it desperately needed it. If you're courageous enough you could look here to see pics of the room before we started and here to see pics of the demolition process.

Day 3, Step 3

We had a problem that was stalling the whole remodel process.  The problem?  How do we patch the two larger holes in the drywall???  My husband and I discussed all sorts of ways we could patch them and we just did not feel good about anything we were coming up with. Finally I suggested that we google it! Within three minutes of googling I was led to eHow and found a simple solution to our problem. We already had all the materials I needed and so now I can get to work on patching those holes. Woohoo! My room is going to be painted in no time and then my husband can start putting the cabinet and shelves in.

In case you happen to have a hole in drywall that needs patching too you can check out the solution I found here: How to Patch a Hole in Drywall | eHow.com

Steps 1-2: Let the Demolition Begin!

Woohoo!!!  The Laundry room renovations have begun!!!  I spent Friday and all day Saturday clearing it out.  Phew!  Who could have imagined such a little room could hold so much stuff.  I took three large bags of clothing and items to goodwill, gave three smaller bags of clothing away to others, and threw away atleast three bags.  Whew!  That really emptied out the room!!!

My husband took care of the next phase which was to remove the closet doors, the frame and half the cabinet...

My handsome hubby hard at work!

Wait, that's not half the cabinet down, that's the whole cabinet.  Yikes!  My current cabinet was all in one piece and so the choice was remove the whole cabinet or leave it and then not have a place to hang wet clothes.  My wonderful husband said he will be able to get me a new cabinet.  Sounds great to me!  But meanwhile there's more work to do.  Such as I have some patching, priming and painting  to do...

One of the holes left behind after tearing out the cabinet

I've picked out the paint color and have it ready to go.  I don't want to tell you what color I chose.  I rather surprise you with it later.  For now I have to get nail holes and three larger holes patched like the one above that were a result of the cabinet frame being nailed into the wall.  There just was no way to get the cabinet out without prying it out and taking some wall too. 

Yikes!  What we thought was going to be a simple project of cleaning out my laundry room and adding shelves has exponentially grown.  In other words it's grown to be a much much larger project then I had anticipated.  My husband says that's the way it always goes when doing these kinds of projects.  I wish I could feel as calm as he sounds when he says it...I need a cup of coffee!

Help! I Can't Find My Washing Machine!

From birth it seems I've been a messy person.  Don't believe me ?  Just ask my mom, I'm sure she'd be happy to share with you all of her exasperated attempts to get me organized and keep me organized when I was young.  Or, you could just open one of my closets and look in...or worse yet take a peek at the current condition of my laundry room... 

My washer and dryer surrounded with dirty and clean clothes, mops and brooms shoved between, and that's my utility tub beneath the overflowing clothes basket.

Laundry room closet (pretty scary huh?) filled with shirts to iron, stuff to go to goodwill, laundry basket of single socks (where do they disappear too??? UGH!) with misc. items piled on top, work out videos, stuff I didn't no where else to put, etc... Yikes!  This room and closet need desperate help!!!

Why air my dirty laundry in public?  Well, I thought about just simply sharing with you in words about my journey to organize and redo my laundry room and then only posting the final pictures when I was all done.  But then you really wouldn't have any idea on just how bad it is.   I also thought about sharing a pic. from a messy laundry room that I came across on this cute blog: A Scrapbook of Me: Laundry Room Ideas I found while I was searching on google for organizing ideas.  After thinking on it, I decided it would be better if I were just honest with you and myself about the desperate condition of the room!  Besides just knowing you know will keep me accountable to get this project done.  And that would make my husband really, really happy!  My mom too!

Now that I've shared with you the embarrassing condition of this small room I'm hoping some of you might help me come up with ideas on how to get this room organized.

Here are some things my husband and I have considered so far:

1) Taking the doors off of the closet and putting in some sort of organizing system (inexpensive one).  Which  would include:
                       a) Shelves for laundry baskets:  atleast five
                       b) A place for dirty laundry: could be another shelf & laundry basket
                       c) A clothes rod for out of season jackets (maybe) and/or shirts that
                           need ironing
                       d) Shelves for Storage baskets for misc. items such as lonely socks
                       e) A place for my vacuum cleaner would be a bonus (it just takes up
                           floor space now)
  
* Here is the current dilema with the closet situation:  behind the utility sink is a wall and behind the wall is the closet.  If I wanted shelves back in there would I be able to access them?  If not then I think my only solution is to have a closet rod that sticks a little past the opening so I can access the hanging clothes.  What do you think?

2)  My husband is considering removing a cabinet from above the utility sink and put up a rod to hang things that need to be ironed.  I'm debating about the loss of the cabinet, because it is full after all.  It would look something like this, but without the cabinet above it:

http://www.generalcabinets.com/ laundry_rooms.htm

3) I would like to be able to have a place to dry delicates.  Right now my only option is to lay sweaters and things that need to lay flat on the washer to dry.

4) I currently have my ironing board and iron hanging on the wall adjacent to my washer and dryer.  This works fine now, but I'm wondering if there is a better option...

5) Perhaps painting the cabinets and trim white (like in above pic.), along with a cheery color on the wall (like below pic.)?

www.houzz.com/ ideabooks/26969/ list/ 10-Tips-f...om-Better

Wow, I love the cheeriness of this one but don't think it's the right color for me!  What a contrast compared to my current laundry room!!!  I'm starting to get excited!  Time for me to get off the computer and start sorting and getting rid of the mounds of unneeded stuff in my laundry room.  For that I'm going to grab some garbage bags: one for goodwill, one for the garbage, and one for putting away in another room.  Wish me luck and I'll let you know how things are going in a few days.

"But, I Love the Feel of a Good Book in my Hands!"

I'm nostalgic about many things, mostly though I'm nostalgic about old books.  Not just the words themselves that are on the page but the look, the feel, and the musty smell.  I love when I get my hands on an early edition and all the better if I get the first edition.  I think the reason it brings me such pleasure is that it makes me think of slower simpler times.  Of course that's all in my naive nostalgic mind.  Since the days of yesteryear were anything but simpler.  Could you imagine having to go out in the middle of winter traipsing through the snow to pump water from the well outside, lug it into the kitchen, heat it up on a wood burning stove that you had chopped and hauled wood in for then stoked in order to get hot enough.  Then once the water was finally at the right temp you could wash your dishes, your clothes or bathe etc... No, it definitely was not an easier time especially when you consider all of our modern conveniences such as hot water coming right out of the tap or washing machine.   Speaking of washing machines, think of all that scrubbing and wringing they used to have to do just for one shirt let alone a whole families worth of clothes.  I shudder to think how long it would take me if I had to do my family of 8's clothes all by hand. Yikes!  No wonder people were more physically fit in those days!  And they didn't even have to go to a gym or pop in a video to get that way!?!

Oops, I guess I got off track a little.  So, where was I?  Oh yes, I was saying I'm nostalgic about books especially old ones.  That I am!  So, when my husband who knew about my love of reading started to ask me what I thought about the eReaders, I told him I was opposed to the idea.  My objections:  I love the feel of a good book in my hands, it just doesn't seem right, how awful to think books could be replaced someday by these, and on and on.  Nonetheless, for almost a year he kept questioning me feeling me out on the subject.  His prodding had me thinking more and more about the idea of someday owning one.  As I considered it I started to see some of the possible benefits.  Such as I wouldn't need to lug around a huge over stuffed book bag when I go places since all my books would be stored on one little device.  Which would mean I could take all the eBooks I own anywhere I went!  Wow!  I told him that perhaps I would consider one after all, but it would never fully replace actual books for me.  We casually looked at the many possibilities out there.  Together we looked at those that were sold in the large bookstores and on Amazon.  We also looked at the knock offs.  This I thought was simply window shopping more then serious investigation.  Imagine my surprise when for Christmas I opened up a NOOKcolor !!!  I nearly cried as emotions of surprise, joy, and guilt all swept over me at the same time.  With six kiddo's to buy for we just don't spend that much on each other for Christmas.

My New NOOKcolor

Needless to say I was anxious to try out my NOOKcolor and immediately I was sold on it!!!  From the colorful children's books that read to you (our youngest loves these), to the free NOOKbooks, to the old editions of Christian classics that have been scanned (you can download these for free) such as Spurgeon, Amy Carmichael, etc... to it's highlighting and note taking capabilities, then there's the web browsing capabilities, along with the apps such as Pandora, the back-lighting makes it so you can read in the pitch dark, and then there is all the NOOKbooks you can purchase download and read almost instantly.  Of course these are only some of the features there are many more along with the promise of more apps to come soon.  

Over the last 3 months I have read more Novels then I had in the last five years.  All of which have been free thus far.   One caution though!  If you own a Nook and want to do some free reading I highly recommend reading the descriptions and reviews carefully before deciding on which free NOOKbook to download to your device .   By doing so I have been saved from downloading and reading a book with content that I do not want to be exposed to.  It seems others have not been as fortunate.  As a result of carefully screening which books to choose I must say I have enjoyed all of the books I've read thus far!  Most of which have been by Christian Publishers.  

The last free NOOKbook I read is the one in the above photo: The Apothecary's Daughter by Julie Klassen (it is no longer being offered for free, but I'd pay for this one).  If you love Jane Austin then you would really enjoy this book.  This book held my attention the whole time making it hard to put it down.  I've started a new book by a different Author since, but it seems flat and slow moving in comparison.  I am a huge fan of Jane Austin's books so that could be why this book along with it's Christian emphasis is definitely a favorite!!!  I can't wait to be able to purchase and read the other books by this Author.  For those of you who don't have an eReader yet, don't worry!!!  It is also available in book form or if you download the Free NOOK app at Barnes & Noble  for your PC you can then start reading the book almost immediately on your PC.

One last thing, I want you to know that I and my family members are not employed at Barnes & Noble nor do I in anyway benefit if you decide to purchase a NOOK or NOOK color!  I just wanted to share with you the journey I've been on from book lover to book and NOOK lover.  I probably would have said the same about any eReader I would have been given as a gift.  This just happens to be the one my husband chose and comes with some perks the others didn't.  If all this talk has sparked an interest within you to consider an eReader I would recommend that you do as we did and compare the positives and the negatives of each along with the cost before you decide.  Or perhaps you will just stick with your books and well, that's o.k. too!!!  Really!!!   However this nostalgic lady has embraced both, and I'm glad I did! I'm mostly grateful for my husband who was wise enough to push and prod me until I jumped on board!  I love you Honey!!!

Peace! Be Still!

Jesus Calms the Storm

"Then he got into the boat and his disciples followed him. Suddenly a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat. But Jesus was sleeping.  The disciples went and woke him, saying, “Lord, save us! We’re going to drown!” He replied, “You of little faith, why are you so afraid?” Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm. The men were amazed and asked, “What kind of man is this? Even the winds and the waves obey him!” 

Matthew 8:23-27 (NIV)

Recently I found myself anxious about the many things in my life that were beyond my control and I felt powerless to stop the incessant  worrying.  My mind kept dwelling on the worst case scenarios, all the "what ifs".  There was no rest for my soul, no peace, and no joy in my heart.  Just a constant sense of impending doom.  I desperately wanted to find comfort in my God, but I could not hear His still small voice above the clatter of my own anxiety ridden thoughts.  Then it happened, it was so sudden like a gale wind that appeared out of nowhere.  His voice broke through to the depths of my heart "Peace!  Be Still!"  Instantly the weight of all my fears and anxiety had been obliterated as I embraced those life giving Words.  As I lingered on those words I felt a spreading warmth sweep over my entire being.  The kind of warmth that happens when you know that you are truly loved, through and through, just as you are.  

How amazing and Humbling it was for me to have Jesus respond in such a gentle, patient, and loving way.  He could have been angry with me and rightfully so for my lack of faith, but instead He remembered that I am just dust.  He was not surprised by my thoughts or my giving into my fears since He knows them all already and yet He loves me anyways.

Dear Sisters, Jesus wants to calm the storm raging in your hearts today too!  Can you hear His still small voice echoing in the inner chambers of your mind "Peace! Be Still!"?  Those Words are not just for me, but for you too!  Stop for a moment from what you are doing and reflect on the One who has the power to calm the fiercest storms even those that rage in our own minds. 

John 14:27 (Amplified Bible)

"Peace I leave with you; My [own] peace I now give and bequeath to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. [Stop allowing yourselves to be agitated and disturbed; and do not permit yourselves to be fearful and intimidated and cowardly and unsettled.]"