What is the secret of being content in your marraige? Is it possible to take two flawed and sinful human beings who come from completely different family dynamics and have different ideas on what it means to be a family together and have peace, harmony, and contentment in the home?
I believe it is possible! The key to peace, harmony, and contentment is found in Christ and the gospel when they are in their rightful places in the home. By this I mean that we wives are seeking Christ daily, spending time in His word, meditating on it and time in prayer. This doesn't have to be a two hour time alone. If you can that is awesome, but for those of you who can not get away for long periods of time each day have you considered taking what time you can squeeze of your schedule to pray, read a Scripture or two and as you go about your day chew on what that Scripture means? Roll it around in your head, prayerfully reflecting on it asking God to help you to fully understand it and grasp it, even to memorize. For mom's who are off and running with the first cry of an infant turning on the radio and listening to a Biblically grounded Pastor might be a solution or a Scripture tape. Or having a Bible flip calendar with Scripture and a devotional thought where you will see it each day. For those women who work another alternative might be listening to Scripture or an excellent sermon in your car on the way to work and back. Taking every thought to God in prayer praying without ceasing is another way to find satisfaction and contentment in life and marraige. Why? Because we are spending time with the only One who truly satisfies, He Jesus Christ is the one who alone can meet all our needs. When all our needs our met by Him then we will not put such a heavy burden on our husbands or children (if we have them) to meet those needs. Then and only then will we be free to truly love those God has given us as our neighbors...our husbands and any children we may have and others that cross our paths.
Some of you may know my story and some of you don't, I'm not going to go into the details here except to tell you I was once married to a man who hated God. While in that marraige I heard a wise person say "you are not their Holy Spirit" "it is not your job to change them." Wow, that freed me up. God is the one who does the changing not me. I just need to do as 1 Peter 3:3-6 says, be subject to my husband, be gentle and quiet, working on my inner beauty, be pure in word and conduct all by the grace of God and the power of His Spirit. Not that I will do this perfectly but that I strive for it as to the Lord for He is our first Husband. For I'm responsible for what I do, I stand before God for me alone and not for my husband and so do you Dear Sister.
I also do not want to neglect the spiritual benefits of spending time praising God. Are you feeling blue, worn out, unappreciated, tired? Consider turning on Christian radio or put in that praise CD that's collecting dust. Soon you will find that your mind has gone from dwelling on all that's wrong in your life to the only One who is worthy of our praise and Adoration. As you sing along you will be reminded of the unchangeable truths of God's Character and your flawed doubtful thoughts of God will be renewed and reminded that He does reign, He is Sovereign over all circumstance, and that you are "sinful and flawed but welcomed and loved." Try it!
I've shared so much already and must go for now. But before I do I want to share some excerpts from a book I've been reading called Counsel from the Cross By Elyse Fitzpatrick and Denis E. Johnson. Spend some time chewing on these words today and ask God to show you the truth in them:
"Focusing on the obligations of Scripture without mentioning the declarations of the gospel has resulted in a works-oriented perspective in family relationships and idolatry of the family, and in despairing of self-righteous husband and wives and children who wonder why it's so hard to obey. When we forget that Jesus is our Savior, seeing Him merely as our example, the motivation to love as He does eludes us."
"A wife who has forgotten the that she is sinful and flawed can be harsh and judgmental. She finds it easy to point out her husband's failures, and she thinks that her growth in maturity is hindered because her husband isn't leading as he should. When her husband prays, she criticizes his prayer in her heart. When he watches television, she remembers all the hours she has spent in Bible study, comparing herself to him."
"Because she has forgotten the gospel, she forgets that she already has a sinless Husband(Jesus). But this sinless Husband married a polluted wife with no beauty in her, either before she was saved or after. He loved her out of his pure, unmerited grace. This wife has also forgotten that her growth in maturity isn't contingent upon her earthly husband's leadership. Rather, it was purchased by the precious blood of her Savior, who bought her sanctification at the cost of His life."
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