Voices of the True Woman Movement (Chapter 1)

I was at the first True Woman conference and it truly was an amazing time!  I walked away challenged, stretched, and blessed.  It's amazing though to me how quickly we can forget what we see and hear.  Especially those of us who were not born with photographic memories.  Which is me!  The excitement from being at the conference can quickly begin to fade the minute we re-enter our worlds.  Whether it's home to take care of the kid's or back at work on Monday morning.  That's why I was completely excited to be given this opportunity by the Staff of True Women to read their book and blog about it.  Strange how we can get off to a good start with great intentions and then completely fail.  Well I may be off schedule but I plan to follow through on my commitment to blog about the book.  Especially since it's a great book that is sure to inspire more growth in mine and maybe your Christian walk, and it would correct any erroneous thinking on my part.

I've read two chapters already, but will only divulge my thoughts on chapter one for today.  So let's begin, go grab yourself a cup of coffee then come back and sit with me while I will share with you what I've learned... 

 

Got your coffee?  O.k. great, Let's begin.  Chapter one is titled "the ultimate meaning of true womanhood" and is from John Piper's message at the conference in 2008.  Oh and did I mention there was over 6,000 women from 48 States and a total of 7 countries were at this conference?  Amazing hey?  Back to the book... The title alone causes one to ponder what John Piper will say next, doesn't it.  Oh, don't worry when you read this chapter you will discover that he does a great job of doing that along with stirring you to "embrace your highest calling".  Don't you just love how those words inspire to read more....

Piper goes on to state that he believes "wimpy theology makes wimpy women".  Do you agree with that?  I've pondered that myself.  Well let me share with you what he says about that, but I can't tell you all of it.  You'll have to read the book for yourself.  Piper first started out by sharing the real stories of many women who did not have wimpy theology.  Women like Marie Durant a French Christian from the seventeenth century who was arrested because she was a protestant.  If she would have renounced her faith she would have been set free, but she would not.  She died in that prison thirty eight years later.  Some others mentioned were Gladys and Esther Staines,  Joni Eareckson Tada, and a few others.  He shared the stories of these women to prove that the reason they lived victoriously through extremely difficult circumstances was only because they had a firm grip on who their God is and His plans and purposes for this world.  Piper said  "God's ultimate purpose in creating the world and choosing to let it become the sin-wracked world that it is, is so that the greatness of the glory of Christ could be put on display at Calvary where He bought His rebellious bride at the cost of His life."  And that "the ultimate purpose of creation and redemption is to put the glory of Christ on display in purchasing and purifying His bride, the Church."  That is purifying you and me if you know Him.  How cool is that!!!  This all leads us to as Piper says "the mind-boggling truth that womanhood and manhood -femininity and masculinity- belong at the center of God's ultimate plan."  Are you getting the connections yet?  I know with Piper you really have to chew on what he says sometimes.  Well here is his point in a nutshell God chose to show and display His love to and for us through the marraige relationship of a man and a woman.  Sound familiar yet?  Ever herd a pastor say the church is the bride of Christ?  O.k., so here's the point without women we would not be able to even come close to understanding this.  In other words as Piper says of womanhood "it is a distinctive calling of God to display the glory of His Son in ways that would not be displayed otherwise if there were no womanhood."  Are you starting to embrace your femininity yet?  Well it will take more time for some then others.  Keep reading I promise you won't be disappointed.   Be sure to get yourself a copy of the book too!

Piper's final words to the married is simply that "marraige is meant to display the covenant keeping love between Christ and His church.  And the way it does this is by men being men and women being women in marraige."  He also address submission briefly too but you will have to read that part yourself.

I love that Piper also spoke directly to single woman with this very poignant statement: "even though marraige is meant to display the glory of Christ, there are truths about Christ and His kingdom that shine more clearly through singleness than through marraige."  That is something I've not spent time pondering on, but I can totally see how this is true!

This chapter is only 7 pages long, but with anything Piper writes or speaks it is very meaty and you will come away with lots to chew on.  You will also feel inspired to embrace your true womanhood and find out more about what that means.  Hopefully you'll have a pretty good idea about that by the time I finish sharing with you what I'm learning.  But don't just take my word for it or Piper's, grab your Bible and see if what's been said lines up with scripture says.

I leave you with the last sentence Piper spoke: "your womanhood-your true womanhood-was made for the glory of Jesus Christ!"

Beef and Gravy

Round Steak
mushrooms (fresh or canned)
1 can cream of mushroom soup
1 cup milk
1 tsp. Garlic powder
Salt and pepper to taste
Optional: onions

In slow cooker combine mushroom soup, garlic powder, salt, and pepper.  Cook 5-6 hours on low.  The beef should be falling apart tender and the sauce should be very rich tasting.  I can never make enough of the gravy for this one, it is just so savory the family always gobbles it up!!!

Serve with mashed potatoes or buttered noodles, green beens, and crescent rolls.  Enjoy!

Inexhaustable Grace

The old familiar feeling is overwhelming me in the pain,

          threatening to utterly engulf me once again.

Why is there a delectableness in the bitterness,

          that causes me to immerse myself within it's ugly clutches?

I wallow here as I am pulled along,

         it's sweet taste transposed to rancid dung.

It courses through my veins,

        at every encounter causing pain.

Inward I have flown,

         I feel so alone.

To my knees I plummet,

        open hands raised high heaped with the pain and needs unmet.

Turning my expectant eyes upward I look Jesus fully in His glorious face,

         As I place my hope in His redeeming grace.

His compassionate eyes meet mine as here I linger,

       "I've been waiting for you " He gently whispers.

Then my soul is overcome with His inexhaustible grace,

       His love coursing through my veins emanating through my face.

Praise to Him who alone satisfies every longing heart,

       surrender is our part.

In the crucible of His fiery test,

       victory is assured for those who in Him find rest.

His Love is Eternal

Sometimes life is inexplicably hard and it may at times feel like everyone is against you.  Did you know that there is Someone who will never abandon you, One whose love will never turn cold, and One who will never leave you or forsake you?  In His Word we can read of His enduring love and commitment to those who are His.  Such as:

"The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."  Deut. 31:8

"I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress,  my God, in whom I trust." Psalm 91:2

"What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us?  He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?"   Romans 8:31-32

Praise God, His love is constant!  His grace abundant!  and His mercies new each morning!!!

Grace Lavishly Poured Out on Us

I did it again!  I can't believe it!:(  I forgot to acknowledge an important day for a beloved family member.  Ugh!  Why does this always happen to me!  I want to remember and acknowledge peoples birthdays, anniversaries, etc...I really do!!!  I don't purposely try to forget.  I have even gone so far as buying cards in advance.  Only to find them still sitting in a drawer months after the fact.  Often my automatic physical reaction to discovering that I blew it once again is throwing my palm to my forehead, folding over in agony, along with contorting my face.  "Why can't I be like so and so, she never forgets important days?" Questions like this torture my soul, as I can't help but beat myself up.  Fear and anxiety build from within as I ponder what the would be recipient is thinking of me.  Then I find myself questioning God.  "Why am I made like this?"  "Why do I forget things, important things?"  "It's not just birthdays it's appointments, it's things like what did I do yesterday kinds of things.  Ugh!!!!" 

Then God whispers to me "(I, God have) created (your, Kim) inmost being; (I have) knit (you) together in (your) mother's womb. (You, Kim are) fearfully and wonderfully made; My works (you) are wonderful (Psalm 139:13-14)

"Me????  God?  Just the way I am?  Wonderfully and fearfully made?  Me?  How could that be?" 

God in His mercy continues to whisper to my soul "(Your) frame (Kim) was not hidden from (Me) when (you were) made in the secret place.  When (you, Kim were) woven together in the depths of the earth, (My) eyes saw (your) unformed body.  All the days ordained for (you) were written in (My) book before one of them came to be"(Psalm 139:15-16)

"Even my brain God?  You knew in advance my limitations?  Yet, You made me anyways???  Even the hard places Lord?  You knew about the hard places too???  You ordained them Lord???  Even my failures??? If only I could forget Lord!  What?  You don't want me to forget?  You want me to remember, remember just like the Israelites were to remember how you delivered them out of their bondage???  To tell them to my children, to let them know how amazing Your abundant grace and forgiveness are.  I think I'm beginning to see Lord." 

Then after He so gently reminds me of how He knitted me together and formed me the way that I am, how precious I am to Him, and how He redeems my past He then whispers more life giving truths to my soul:

"Does the clay say to the potter, 'What are you making?' Does your work say, 'He has no hands'?  Woe to him who says to his father,' 'What have you begotten?' or to his mother, 'What have you brought to birth?'
(Isaiah 45:8-10)"

"You are right God, how can I question You, my Maker for how you have made me?  Help me Lord,  when I want to beat myself up by reminding me time and time again that I am wonderfully and fearfully made!!!"

What about you dear Sisters? Are you like me, frustrated at times with how God has made you?  Do you find it hard to say as the Psalmist that you are fearfully and wonderfully made?  Do you really know that God loves you even with your limitations?  That He loves you with a lavish love?

If you Dear sister, have believed that you are a sinner (fallen short of God's holy standard), believed that Jesus lived, died, and rose again the third day, paying your debt so that you might live forever with Him.  Then Dear Sister Jesus rejoices over you!!!  You are His friend (John14:15), you are His child (Ephesians 1:5), you cannot be separated from His love, ever (Romans 8:35-39), He will complete the work He has begun in you (Philip 1:6), You are hidden with Christ in God (Colo. 3:3),and you can do all things through Christ who will strengthen you (Philip. 4:13).  All this and so much more is true when you are His!  And you too will be able to say as Isaiah did:  (just put your name in the blank)

"O LORD, You are (my) Father. (I,_____ am) the clay, You are the potter; (I, _____ am) the work of your hand." (Isaiah 64:8)


Thank-you Jesus, for your grace and mercy, for your intimate knowledge of who I am and my dear sisters.  Thank-you that we don't have to pretend to be something we're not with you!  That you love us, limitations and all.  Thank you that when we are at our weakest and confess our weaknesses to You,  You are then able to show Yourself strong to others through us.  Thank-you that when we fail others whether intentionally or not your grace is sufficient, and that when we confess to them and You our sins are completely forgiven by You.  Whether or not those we have hurt ever do.  Jesus we have never known such a love as yours, never felt so accepted as we do with You!  Thank-you!!!  We can not understand why You should love us so, but we embrace it as the most precious thing in all the world that we could ever receive."    Amen  


Let us rejoice today in the work of the Father's hand (the work He is doing in us, though not perfected yet), be humble and confess our short comings to those we've let down, and breathe a sigh of relief that though others may or may not forgive us God does!






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Blogs, Missed Opportunities??? and Happy Surprises

Daily I receive emails from a blog called True Woman http://www.truewoman.com/?id=1133.  I had signed up for the blog after I had attended a True woman conference.  It was one of the best Christian conferences for women I have ever had the privilege of attending.  I left that conference with my head and heart filled with the love of Jesus and an increased desire to live my life for Him in the way He originally had purposed for us women.

I must admit that though I loved the conference and respect Nancy Leigh Demoss tremendously, at times I have neglected to read the emails that I have received from them.  Usually it's because of time, "I only have so much time in the day after all" I'd tell myself.  At other times I must selfishly admit the title just hasn't captured my attention.  But then there are other times...times when I have been totally drawn in...even responding myself to them.

Recently  a month or so ago was one such time.  I had received an email saying that they were looking for women who would be willing to read a new book that Nancy Leigh Demoss had written.  All that they required was that I be willing to blog about it.  I thought, I could do that!  In fact I'd love to do that!   So I signed up submitting my blog and email address.  Days had passed by and I had not herd from them, so of course I had thought I wasn't picked for this amazing opportunity.

 Then one day as I came in from outside I glanced over at my desk, there sat a pile of mail.  On top of the mail was a small box.  I opened that box and to my surprise there was the book.  The whole house shook as I literally did a happy dance in my kitchen. "Woohoo!!!  They picked me!  I can't believe it!!!" "I'm so happy oooh, I'm so happy, ooh, I'm so happy!!!"  Fortunately no one was around to see this sudden eruption of joy.  Just me and my cat:) 

Today is your introduction to this new book I'm reading.  The name of it is "Voices of the True Women Movement."  It is written by Nancy Leigh DeMoss and some of  the contributors to the book are John Piper, Mary Kassian, Joni Eareckson Tada, and Janet Parshall.   If your like me, after you have herd these names you are anxious to dig into the book. However now that I've wet your appetite for what the book is about you will have to wait until tomorrow to hear more...

From one "Stepmonster" to Another

I know it's been awhile since I've last posted.  I've had a busier week then normal and to be honest no real inspiration floating around in my head.  Until yesterday and yet there was no time to post then so I'm hoping I'll remember it all today....

A week ago I had gone to my local public library and was heading to check out my books when I passed a rack of books that were being highlighted.  A title on one of the books seemed to jump right out at me.  The name of the book was Stepmonster by Wednesday Martin Ph.D.  That title pulled me in like a powerful magnet and I was yanked from my intended destination to the book as if there was a force pulling me.  You see, I am a stepmother and I'm quite sensitive to the fact that so much of what is written in fiction is negative when referring to stepmothers.  In fact the same is true for what is produced in Hollywood.  I can think of only two movies that are positive in regards to stepmoms and one of which was a remake of the other .   Those movies are: Yours, Mine, and Ours (1968) with Lucille Ball and Henry Fonda and the newer version Yours, Mine & Ours (Widescreen Edition) (2005) with Dennis Quaid and Rene Russo.  Which by the way my husband and I really enjoyed both films.  Everybody remembers The Parent Trap (1998) with Lindsay Lohan, Natasha Richardson, and Dennis Quaid, right?  Some of you like myself might even remember the original movie The Parent Trap (1961) starring Hayley Mills and if your like me, you enjoyed when the step-mom to be was revealed to not be as nice as she was pretending to be and the relationship was ended.  Thereby making it so the twins parents could get back together.  It did make for a hilarious movie after all, and a happy ending.  And who could possibly ever forget Cinderella?  Every child knows the Cinderellla story well.  Everyone roots for her and everyone celebrates when she overcomes her circumstances and rightly so.  It is unfortunate that these movies and stories have portrayed a sometimes true picture of step-moms.  That children have had to suffer because of poor choices their parents have made in picking a spouse is truly unfortunate.  The children really do not have a say in who their parent marries and many fool themselves into thinking that the children will come around.  Many don't, that is an unfortunate fact.

As I was saying this books title drew me to it and as I picked it up I quickly determined that it was not at all what I thought it was going to be about.  It was not a fictitious book aimed at unhappy teenagers giving them more ammo to throw at their step-moms.  No on the contrary this was a book written by a stepmom and written for stepmoms.  The subtitle reveals a lot about the focus of the book: "A New Look at Why Stepmothers Think, Feel, and Act, the Way We Do.  In the Authors own words "I wrote this book about women with stepchildren, for women with stepchildren, because being a women with stepchildren is not easy.  E. Mavis Hetherington, PhD psychologist and author of the landmark, three decade Virginia Longitudinal Study of 1,400 families that divorced and remarried, notes that whereas children frequently come to appreciate having a stepfather...the situation with stepmothers is more difficult and stepchild resentment is more intense...reporting with some surprise that so many of her subjects described their stepmothers as 'evil, malevolent, wicked, or monsters' and gave them nicknames like 'Dog Face' and 'The Dragon,' Hetherington concludes, stepfathers rarely encountered this level of vitriol." 

The Author goes on to explain the purpose of her book stating:  "This is not a book about how I learned my lesson or won my stepkids over or became a better person by marrying a man with children.  My reality like that of the women with stepchildren I interviewed, is not so nearly cut-and-dried.  This is not a book about how to change yourself or how to act in order to be a better stepmother.  I have learned that there is no recipe for success, no single 'right way.'  Rather, my goal has been to synthesize and distill some of the less readily available studies and insights from experts...I also have sought to suggest some alternative lenses through which to view stepmothers and stepmothering..."

I love her honesty and humility!!!  She is not pretending to have all of the answers and she is not promising to guaranty a happily ever after perfectly blended and harmonized step-family.  There are so many factors involved and you as the stepmom are only one part of the whole picture. How freeing is that dear stepmoms?!!!  We mom's carry the whole weight of how the family is functioning on our shoulders don't we?!  We have been told the mom determines the mood of the home etc...So who, do you suppose feels like a failure when it is not going as it ought to?  You got it mom!!!  Mom/Stepmom  is weighed down, discouraged, and often taking the blame or trying to free herself of the blame, guilt, and shame by pointing at everyone else and how they are making her miserable.  I would like to suggest neither is a healthy place to be.

The healthier place to be is having realistic expectations about your stepchildren, your children (if any), your spouse, yourself and what a healthy step family looks like.  Unrealistic expectations that I have of others and myself always rob me of my joy and I'm pretty sure they do for you as well.  When the expectations are unmet they also have a tendency to cause us to become angry and bitter.  Of course it's important to clarify that they are unmet because they are unrealistic, but then we don't always know that they are unrealistic until someone comes a long and frees us from them.   This book which I've only just begun has already done that for me.

Let me just add that this is not a Christian book written from a Christian perspective.  If you have a problem with that, then this book is definitely not for you.  I have already read things within the pages that I as a Christian must not agree with and neither should you.  You will not be reading about our hope in Christ and how He transforms hearts and minds here.  But what you will read is studies done on step families, real struggles real stepmoms have faced, and the fear every stepmom has of being seen as "wicked" in the eyes of their step kids.  But as the book points out this just may be inevitable since it's more rare to have a step child honestly love you or even like you.  And from conversations I've had with grown up stepchildren this may not happen until the child reaches adulthood.  Though that too is rare as my mind wanders back to a conversation I overheard one day at the YMCA...a 50 something woman was complaining about how horrible her stepmom was.  I also would like to mention that there are a lot good stepparenting books that have been written from a Christian perspective that have been helpful to both me and my husband and I will highlight some of them at the end of this review.

Maybe it all comes down to who do I need to affirm me as a person?  Is it my parents, my spouse, my children, my friends, my boss, etc... Or is it true that the only opinion that matters for the Christian is what does Christ think of me?  Wow, that's a loaded question...He who know the hearts of men, he who knows my every thought, my every deed...future, present, and past!  What does He think of me: that  I'm dust, was once dead (utterly helpless) in my sins and trespasses, without hope.  That I do the things I don't want to do and don't do the things I want to, I'm selfish and self centered, and often to self focused.  Actually others no matter how bad they think of me really don't think bad enough for they don't really know me and I wonder how much I actually know me:)  Since the only good that I do is the work of Christ in me and is not me at all!!!  Why should I be offended then when anyone thinks less of me.  I'm so glad that God sees me through the eyes of Christ, a precious daughter, righteous, washed and cleaned because of what He has done for me.  It is Jesus' opinion that matters above all others and His opinion just has to be enough.

One other thing to note, just in case some of you who are reading this are not in a stepfamily situation but are in an unhappy marraige.  You might at times be tempted to think that you would be better off with someone else.  Maybe you look at so and so's husband and think it would be great to have him as a husband and dad.  Let me add this, the grass is not usually greener on the other side.  Statistics are not that great for first marriages anymore but they are even worse for second especially when children are involved.   Listen to What Wednesday Martin says in her book about this: "My marraige was meant to be. It was also doomed to fail.  You see, I chose a man with children...the greatest predictor of divorce is the presence of children from previous marraige.  In fact divorce rates are 50 percent higher in remarriages with children than in those without."
















Let me just add that though there is a lot of good information in the blended families book I have recently learned that step-families don't blend.  It's more like oil and water.  That was another expectation that I had to learn to let go of and really wish someone had told me right from the beginning.