He is actively involved

I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly."  

                                                                John 10:10b (NKJV)

Recently myself and another Women's Ministries (WM) teammate attended a WM Leadership training conference through Lifeway.   While there my teammate wanted to buy a Worship CD. As I was waiting for her I happened to glance over past the piles of CD's that were stacked on the table towards the back wall.  There laying on the floor propped up against other misc. items a plain canvas bag with a verse on it caught my eye.   There was nothing spectacular about the bag, nothing that would stand out to the casual observer.  It was the verse on the front of this bag that jumped out at me.  The very one I shared with you in my last post and the one that is at the top of this one.  When I saw it I immediately asked one of the ladies who was helping with the sale of the CD's if they were selling those bags.  She said no, she was given it at a pre-conference for volunteers.  I then said, "oh, 'cause when I saw it I thought - I've got to have that."  "That's exactly what my heart beat for women is;  that they would walk in the abundant life Christ came to give them despite their circumstances." She then said she wanted to give it to me, but since it was full of her things I'd need to come back the next day to get it.  I protested, but she wouldn't hear of it.

I went back to our hotel room that night still wrestling with what I should do. There was one part of me that wanted that bag so badly, and the other part of me thought if I were her I'd not want to give up the cool bag I just got for free.  Talking with my husband that night on the phone he said "you know you have to go back for it."  Still, I went to bed undecided. The next day I prayed "Lord, if when I walk up to the woman she recognizes me then I will know the bag is from You." "If she doesn't recognize me then I will walk away."   Well, in fear and trembling (literally) I walked up to the woman without saying a word. She looked at me, and initially there was no recognition in her face. But then all of a sudden her face lit up and she said she had the bag right here for me.  She went and got it and handed it to me, and I stood there dumbfounded.  How could I express how grateful I was to her? I fumbled through a thank-you knowing it just was not as enthusiastic as I wanted it to be, mostly because I was torn in accepting it.Why would she give it to me?  Why would God want me to have it?  Will she regret giving it to me? Were some of the thoughts that were running through my mind.  I wish I would have had the courage to give her a huge bear hug and a hearty hand shake as well as oozing over with Thank-yous through tears. That certainly would have more conveyed just how deeply thankful I was, but then I've never been one who is overt in expressing how she feels... 

Why Lord? What are you trying to tell me? What are you trying to show me? What Lord am I to do now that You've given me this:

My heart beat for women!

Daily baby steps of faith...that's how I'm responding. The first baby step of faith:  sharing this story with the WM team and the whole team excitedly deciding that this will be our theme verse for this year. The next baby step of faith: sharing the story on my blog. After all that's what this blog has been all about from the start. So it's the perfect place to share this small miracle God has done. Then in my next several posts I'd like to unpack more and more what I think Christ means when He spoke those Words.

...But then when your blogging you really don't know if your ramblings matter to anyone...is anyone out there reading this?  Is my sharing my heart helping anyone?  That's why I think at times it's so easy for me to just not do it...today I was even tempted by thoughts of shutting down my blog...who do I think I am...why do I think anyone would want to listen to what I have to say...but then somehow amongst those brooding thoughts hope arose! Maybe, I'll encourage one hurting heart today Lord! Just one broken and bleeding child who needs to hear that You are so very near to her, that You, Lord, love her right where she is at, You care, You will heal her broken and shattered heart, You will be there with her through it all, and she can live an abundant life despite her circumstances!!!  Maybe just one...love you and praying for you, whoever you are!

Feeling like I can Breathe again

Hey Girlfriends,

I have really missed chatting with you!!!  My life has been a whirlwind since I got a "part-time" job (25-32 hours per week) at the end of summer last year.  It has been a blessing  providing some financial relief, but at the same time it left me with very little margin.  Because of that I had to cut out some things and not having the mental energy to blog it was one of the first to be let go.

Fortunately I was able to cut back on hours for the summer and I am now just beginning to feel as though I am awaking from a heavy fog of fatigue that oppressed me continually.  It's late at night and I am writing my first post in months....hmm...I guess the fog will be back tomorrow.  If it is, it will be well worth it!!!  I've missed sharing my random, heartfelt, sincere thoughts. 

Friends, I do have so much to share and will share this more fuller soon, but before I go to bed I want to leave you with something to think on.  The Lord has burdened my heart with a verse:

"I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly."  John 10:10b (NKJV)

Girlfriends, my hearts desire is that each one of us would experience the abundant life that Christ spoke of!!!  I'm not saying a pain free, trial free, easy life.  I'm saying a life that is rooted in the knowledge of Christ and the depth of His love so that despite the daily trials and sufferings there is a deep abiding joy!!!  The kind of life that knows the comfort of the Spirit and comforts others with the same comfort they received....the kind of life that does not look at what is seen, but the unseen and places her hope in the eternal.  Girlfriend, that's my prayer for you and for me!!!  

I need to go to bed, but I will write more on this soon...for my heart is filled with a burning desire for us to get this!!!

Peace! Be Still!

Jesus Calms the Storm

"Then he got into the boat and his disciples followed him. Suddenly a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat. But Jesus was sleeping.  The disciples went and woke him, saying, “Lord, save us! We’re going to drown!” He replied, “You of little faith, why are you so afraid?” Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm. The men were amazed and asked, “What kind of man is this? Even the winds and the waves obey him!” 

Matthew 8:23-27 (NIV)

Recently I found myself anxious about the many things in my life that were beyond my control and I felt powerless to stop the incessant  worrying.  My mind kept dwelling on the worst case scenarios, all the "what ifs".  There was no rest for my soul, no peace, and no joy in my heart.  Just a constant sense of impending doom.  I desperately wanted to find comfort in my God, but I could not hear His still small voice above the clatter of my own anxiety ridden thoughts.  Then it happened, it was so sudden like a gale wind that appeared out of nowhere.  His voice broke through to the depths of my heart "Peace!  Be Still!"  Instantly the weight of all my fears and anxiety had been obliterated as I embraced those life giving Words.  As I lingered on those words I felt a spreading warmth sweep over my entire being.  The kind of warmth that happens when you know that you are truly loved, through and through, just as you are.  

How amazing and Humbling it was for me to have Jesus respond in such a gentle, patient, and loving way.  He could have been angry with me and rightfully so for my lack of faith, but instead He remembered that I am just dust.  He was not surprised by my thoughts or my giving into my fears since He knows them all already and yet He loves me anyways.

Dear Sisters, Jesus wants to calm the storm raging in your hearts today too!  Can you hear His still small voice echoing in the inner chambers of your mind "Peace! Be Still!"?  Those Words are not just for me, but for you too!  Stop for a moment from what you are doing and reflect on the One who has the power to calm the fiercest storms even those that rage in our own minds. 

John 14:27 (Amplified Bible)

"Peace I leave with you; My [own] peace I now give and bequeath to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. [Stop allowing yourselves to be agitated and disturbed; and do not permit yourselves to be fearful and intimidated and cowardly and unsettled.]"