Tonight was the start of my first college class and in anticipation of it my stomach felt as though I've been on a wild roller coaster ride all day. Well the good news is that my stomach and I have survived. In fact even better then just surviving it, I loved it! I loved sitting in the room listening to the prof. speak. I loved learning more about what I'm passionate about. I can't wait to get to the reading and I'm already eagerly looking forward to my next class.
I know there will be many challenges ahead for me. There were moments tonight that I felt as if I don't quite fully understand what the prof. was saying. I'm hoping that the reading I do for the class will clarify the questions I'm left with. Then there's the homework for the class...this will be quite challenging for someone who has been out of school for as long as I have. I'm not at all looking forward to handing in my homework to be graded. When I think about it I'm tempted to dwell on the fact that I have no idea what I'm doing..."oh my, what have I gotten myself into"...O.k. enough of that negative thinking...
"O.k., O.k., how then should I be thinking?" Philippians 4:8-9 reminds me that I should be thinking on what I know to be true . What I know to be true is that God has a calling on my life and as I sought Him earnestly in the matter this is where He has led me. I also know that if God has called me to this then He will equip me. In that I rest, not in my own abilities or lack there of but in the work of the Holy Spirit within me.
My prayer this morning was and will continue to be: "Father, I can not do this without your help. I need Your wisdom, understanding, and discernment. Please help me to remember the things I need to know and filter out those things that would not be pleasing to you. Teach me through the prof. those things you want me to learn and write it in my heart and mind so that I will not forget."
I'm just taking one step at a time keeping one eye on the goal = God's calling on my life and the other eye on the journey = my first class.
On top of the anxiety I was trying to stifle all day over my first class starting there was anxiety about driving in the snow. Driving was definitely an adventure tonight. I think my car fish tailed four times (the good news is I finally got the turn into the direction the car is sliding thing down pat),however I did almost slide right on through a red light. By the time class was over and I reached my car there was already six inches of snow on top of it so the driving home was worse. The traffic was going 25 miles per hour on the freeway in a normally 65 miles per hour zone. The wind was blowing the snow side ways and the visibility was poor. The drifts on the freeway were higher then the floor of my car and all I can say is I prayed, prayed, and prayed. Whew! I made it home safely...and now I'm off to bed. Goodnight!
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